February is in full swing, and you know what that means, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. For some people, this holiday is an opportunity to shower your significant other in gifts and chocolate and love. For others, Valentine’s Day is the annual reminder that there is a missing piece to their life.
I’ll be honest, I’m a Valentine’s Day hater myself. I realize that probably sounds incredibly negative and pessimistic, but let me explain. I don’t dislike this Hallmark holiday because I am perpetually single. I’m not bitter that I don’t have someone to split some spaghetti with Lady and The Tramp style. In fact, that sounds messy and just impractical. I dislike Valentine’s day because of the way it makes people feel. Something about this holiday above all others makes so many people feel worthless or unlovable because they don’t have a significant other in their life.
When did we decide that being single is the worst thing to happen to a person? When did we decide that being in a relationship equals happiness? Why do we promote the idea that we need someone else to prove our value as a person?
You have the power to love and value the person you are all by your darn self. I think its about time we start promoting self-love as something that is just as important as having love for someone else. Instead of spending Valentine’s Day focused on your single Facebook status or dissecting why you’re alone, spend some time to focus on what you love about yourself.
Psychology research tells us that women have a particularly hard time pointing out things that they love about themselves. For many reasons that can be attributed to history and neurology, it feels inherently wrong to vocalize positive attributes of our personality. Take a challenge this month to sit down and write out five things you love about yourself. It will feel weird, and it will feel uncomfortable but you will be amazed how much confidence you will gain from getting a little pat on the back. Even you humans with a bae can participate in this activity because self-love is a little something we all could use more of.
Psychology also tells us that the happiest and healthiest relationships form when both parties are secure and confident in themselves prior to starting the relationship. So for all you single pringles out there- taking some time to reflect on you might actually be a bigger benefit than you realize. When that special someone comes walking into your life, you will be ready to welcome them with open arms, knowing that they simply add to your value as a person, not comprise it. After all, you can’t truly love anyone else until you love yourself first.