The Missing Bridesmaid


Being asked to be a bridesmaid by your best friend is a huge honor and responsibility. It is not just wearing a pastel dress and going to a bachelorette party. It is helping your bride in whatever she needs, helping her make important decisions, and calming her down in her moments of panic. When my best friend, Sarah, asked me to be a bridesmaid it was a very exciting and honorable moment for me. I knew I held the responsibility to do everything I could to help her make her day special.

The planner in me was so excited to help her in every step of the way, and continue to share her special moments with her. I had already assisted her fiancé in planning the proposal, and she is the first one of my close friends to get married. So, extra exciting! But when I accepted the leadership consultant position, I knew no matter where I would end up I would not be able to be the bridesmaid I wanted to be for my best friend. I originally planned that I would be able to attend either the bridal shower or the bachelorette party, and I came to terms that missing one or the other wouldn’t be the end of the world. But when I found out I was going to Charleston and looked up flights back to California, I quickly realized there was no way I could afford going to either since I have to fly back for the wedding in October. I was completely crushed and had a break down at dinner during LC training (shout out to the LCs that helped me get through that). Having to tell my best friend I would not be able to attend her bridal shower and bachelorette party was heartbreaking. She was understanding and told me she expected things like this to happen when I accepted the job, but it still didn’t make it any easier.

Being the missing bridesmaid is extremely difficult. Seeing planning and all those special moments on social media gives me a pit in my stomach and makes me homesick. Not to mention, being an LC and a bridesmaid is hard work. Being an LC means working long hours and giving your life to Sigma Kappa, so that leaves little time to get other things done. I had one job to do for Sarah’s bridal shower. All I had to do was make or order signs! Did I forget to do it? Of course I did! But to try make up for my mistake, I made a custom Snapchat filter for the day.

Although I am across the country, my friends have made sure I am not missing out on anything. They send me pictures, Snapchat me and try to FaceTime me so it’s like I’m there. They even FaceTimed me when it was time to take bridal party pictures! That honestly meant so much to me because it was like I wasn’t missing anything – (I am the phone in the picture below).


This experience has made me realize a lot about myself and my friends. I am realizing how hard it is to maintain friendships and responsibilities at home from across the country. Being an LC means you are basically giving your life to Sigma Kappa and the collegiate members you are working with. By doing so, it means sometimes your friends and family get pushed down on the priority list. This concept is really hard for me sometimes, because I will literally do anything for the people I love. This LC journey has taught me so much in such a short amount of time. One of the lessons it has taught me is that sometimes I have to do what is best for me at the moment, even if it means having to miss out on important things. I know that at this moment I absolutely need to be in Charleston and be in the leadership consultant role. Even though I am not physically at home and at the important moments, doesn’t mean I am any less of a friend and bridesmaid. I know at the end of this journey, my relationships with my friends and family will be stronger and have more meaning. Until then I will be the missing bridesmaid and be the phone in pictures.



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