Diary of a Millennial: Three Things I Hate About Us

I realize that I have spent a lot of time and energy in previous blog posts both dissecting and defending the Millennial generation. I have even complained multiple times about all the elders who can’t stand us and whined about how it’s not fair (in true Millennial fashion, am I right?) And now, as I close out the year, I just want to take this opportunity to be a straight up hypocrite and detail all (some) of the things I truly hate about our generation. So I give you the three worst Millennial-driven pop culture trends and why the drive me absolutely bonkers.

Food trends – aka organic, non-GMO, etc.

I can and have been known to rant about this for what probably seems like an eternity to my poor friends and/or anyone within earshot. I’ll try to keep it concise and really just zoom in on what’s at the core of the issue for me. For a little context, I am from rural Missouri and had no idea how little most people knew about agriculture until I went to college – even at a university with one of the most successful agriculture programs in the country. All of sudden, my limited knowledge made me an expert in a relatively clueless world. That’s when this started to make my blood boil. The entirety of these ridiculous cage-free, grass-fed, antibiotic-free nonsense trends is based in absolutely zero understanding of how agriculture works on a basic level. Farmers make up only about 2 to 3 percent of the population and that’s going down constantly. They cannot feed you all, especially when you’re demanding things from them that make literally no sense. It’s like criticizing the surgeon who is operating on you. Unless you are also a surgeon, you should probably just keep your mouth shut.

Snapchat

I believe that Snapchat is the devil incarnate. What other kind of monster could have contributed this to our world? I realize that I am coming across roughly as an 85-year-old, but it drives me NUTS to watch people recording and taking pictures of things instead of just, like, doing them. Sometimes I look around and literally everyone is staring at their phones and I wish I could collect all of them and throw them out a window without those people maybe suing me because those things are so expensive.

My animosity toward Snapchat is multi-layered. First of all, as someone who works with college students every day, Snapchat brings nothing but disappointment. The things that people are willing to post under the illusion of disappearing evidence never ceases to astound me. Secondly, I have a major problem with the the fact that people seem to be comfortable posting things without consent. I can’t express how much I hate hearing, “Oh yeah, I saw you went there, how was it?” If I wanted people to know where I am, what I am doing, or what silly joke I have told without context, I’d tell them or I’d post it myself. Let’s just agree that from now on you do not have permission to post content of me; please take up requests with my agent.

The word “adulting”

We need to stop complaining about and/or congratulating ourselves for being alive humans. Here is a list of things you do not deserve to whine about and my snarky remarks about exactly why:

  • Waking up in the morning – so sorry you have to be alive again today!
  • Making/eating food – since the invention of Google, it’s your fault and yours alone that you can’t cook
  • Paying bills – tell me again how things cost money, I can’t believe I never knew this
  • Working – see directly above
  • Cleaning – Donna Reed is rolling her eyes at you

Literally every human grown up in the history of the world has dealt with these things and when you complain about them, you are insulting yourself. It truly is not that difficult to function at a basic level and our glorified complaints about it are exactly the reason our grandparents secretly can’t stand us.

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