If you’ve been reading my blog posts from the beginning, you’ll remember that Leslie Knope (Heroine of Parks & Rec) is my spirit animal. Now not only do I love Leslie, but I love the woman who plays her, Amy Poehler. In reading Amy Poehler’s book, Yes Please, I found a passage that I identify with to my core, but we’ll get to that in a minute.
Let’s start here… I was recently discussing with some awesome Sigma Kappa new members the difference challenges we face as collegiate women in compared to the challenges that our founders (Shout out to the new Promise for New Members program for facilitating this conversation). They overwhelmingly agreed that the biggest challenge facing young women is not that we are excluded by men or by societal norms in the way our founders were, but instead that we exclude one another. We, as women, are our own biggest roadblock to success.
From a young age, we have been socialized to be critical of one another constantly. We judge each other on interests, fashion choices and even Instagram captions. The things I have heard people say… AWFUL. The things I, myself, have said… AWFUL.
It is so easy not to agree with people’s choices and then to make a witty remark about it. We have been doing it since we thought purple over pink was the superior favorite color choice. But, I am challenging myself, and I am challenging you to stop doing that. Stop being so judgmental. Stop being so critical of other women.
How though? How do we stop doing something that has been ingrained in us since kindergarten? Well that’s where Amy Poehler comes in. In her book, I learned the simplest and most beautiful statement to stop the judgement almost before it happens. Good for you, not for me.
- Used 17 hashtags in your Instagram caption? Good for you, not for me.
- Died your hair your favorite pastel color? Good for you, not for me.
- Joined a sorority of which I am not a member? Good for you, not for me
The phrase will work in almost any scenario. Doing something immoral or inconsistent with our organization’s values – Not good for you, or for anyone. Honestly though, 99.9% of our judgement is on the little things, the things that could be addressed by this statement. I hope you put this phrase in your toolbox, because even if we all made one less critical remark a week, the world would be a better place.
“Good for you, not for me” – Amy Poehler